I have sat here waiting on answers to come, waiting on anything a sign of some kind to come to me to show me what I should do thus far. I am lost and I am scared to death. I feel as if I am fighting a battle that I will never win no matter how hard I try and trust me I am fighting with everything I have to win. I have been trying to win a fight against the world it seems. I am trying to figure out where my place was in this life of mine. I think I have figured it out , I am going to be making some big changes in my little world right now and I feel like maybe everything is about to change for the better! I have decided that I am not going to allow anyone change my mind or take control of my life.
At this point my life has mostly been just trying to get through the day and be able to make it to the next day!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Marine Corps GirlFriend
Marine Corps Girlfriend
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend. I hold no formal recognition with the powers that be. I am at the bottom of the chain. I hold no military ID card, I am not a “dependent” or a parent. The man I love may face unspeakable dangers, and I am at the mercy of those who possess this recognition for news. I understand this and accept this.
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend. I have promised to be here for him upon his return, no matter how long he is away. People may say I am insane for making such a commitment with no guarantees, but I hold onto our promises and have faith that he will come home safe to me. I know full well that my love for him fuels him in the worst of times.
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend. There is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, but it means he will be home for me. I hope every day that he will call because a 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions…smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on a brief communication where “I love you and I’m okay” speaks more than volume, and gives me the strength to keep going.
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend. The events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war, I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.
I am a Marine Corps girlfriend, not a spouse or a family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, mothers, and fathers, please don’t forget about me…
Semper Fi <3
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Facing The Lonely Nights!
This past week had been well eventful to say the least, I have had a lot of things on my mind such as my amazing boyfriend being out in the field! I had been feeling so down about my self and life because he was gone for the week and there would be no change for us to be able to spend time together no matter how much I wish we could. I miss him so much and I wish that there were something I could do to get a text from him , a call something to let me know he is thinking about me. I miss him so much its truly crazy I don't know how some females do this for year, or their whole lives pretty much. I can only hope that I am strong enough to be one of those ladies one day. However after last night and finding out that one of my new friends has a husband who is deployed right now. Well I feel selfish as can be! How can I be sitting here all up set and sad because my boyfriend is out in the field for a week when I have a great friend who has a husband who is deployed.
He has a 7 month deployment and she has to stay strong for him no matter what. I AM SELFISH! Yet I am NOT the only one who is, so many civilian wives and girlfriends wine about how their men have to go to work and work late. How many of them truly think about what the Military Girl Friends and Wives go through while their men are away for months at a time. I know that I personally never thought about what they went through until it came down to my dating a Marine my self. I have found my self yelling all the time at girls who I hung out with in high school because they wish there man didn't have to work until 6pm on a Tuesday night! I can't help it I just find my self saying " Are you freaking kidding me? He has to work until 6pm and you are acting like that is the worst thing in the world! I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost a week! That is not even the worst part I know so many girls that have to go months with out seeing their man. Wives that have to raise there children all on there own for the most part because their husbands are out fighting a war and keeping our country safe! I have been a single mother for years! I know how it feels to have to do everything all along trying to keep your self from falling apart because you just don't know how much more you can take. I know I can personally understand what they are going through on some level however being a single mother while praying every night that your husband will come home safe, that he is doing what he trained to do and what he loves. I don't understand how that feels, I don't know many females who are strong enough to be a single parent much less being a single parent while still being married to someone who is always gone. Always out working and trying to keep us all safe from the evils of the world that would like nothing more then to make our lives a " living hell ." Those women truly need to be thanked , they need everyone to know and understand that while you are sitting in your homes every day winning that their husband and boyfriends are working an hour over their normal time to get off work. That they remember that some where in this world there is a women rushing around trying to get the kids feed, bathed and in bed on time all while praying and wishing that her husband/boyfriend didn't have to spend 7 months away from her. Away from their family and the lives they have shared.
As I sit here tonight wishing that my boyfriend was here with me watching pointless cable tv and eating what ever I can get my hands on. I find my self being nothing more then Thankful for all of the AMAZING Women in this world who do what most of us are not brave, or strong enough to do. Supporting men who are hardly ever around , who need the support more then we could ever understand because with out the support they could not do there job as well. I don't know what it's like to be with out the man you love for months at a time, I don't what it is like to deal with everything they have to deal with but I know that one day I will. One day I will understand all to well what they go through every day but until that day I will try to learn everything I can about being in their shoes. I will do everything I can to make sure that I thank them every chance I get. That I do a nice deed for them like baby sitting so they can get a night out , buying them lunch , washing their car or anything I can to show them that even on their worst day there are people in the world that care about them. That are there for them and proud of what they do because when it comes down to it supporting the Military wives is just as important as supporting the Military its self!
I know that tonight will not be my last lonely night, it is only the start of them. I can only be strong and look at the sisterhood of Marine Wives, Fiance's and Girl Friends that have came before me for the strength on the night when I feel the weakest. I love my boyfriend and I know that I will one day look back at these nights as a test from God of our relationship and laugh because we made it through it all!
He has a 7 month deployment and she has to stay strong for him no matter what. I AM SELFISH! Yet I am NOT the only one who is, so many civilian wives and girlfriends wine about how their men have to go to work and work late. How many of them truly think about what the Military Girl Friends and Wives go through while their men are away for months at a time. I know that I personally never thought about what they went through until it came down to my dating a Marine my self. I have found my self yelling all the time at girls who I hung out with in high school because they wish there man didn't have to work until 6pm on a Tuesday night! I can't help it I just find my self saying " Are you freaking kidding me? He has to work until 6pm and you are acting like that is the worst thing in the world! I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost a week! That is not even the worst part I know so many girls that have to go months with out seeing their man. Wives that have to raise there children all on there own for the most part because their husbands are out fighting a war and keeping our country safe! I have been a single mother for years! I know how it feels to have to do everything all along trying to keep your self from falling apart because you just don't know how much more you can take. I know I can personally understand what they are going through on some level however being a single mother while praying every night that your husband will come home safe, that he is doing what he trained to do and what he loves. I don't understand how that feels, I don't know many females who are strong enough to be a single parent much less being a single parent while still being married to someone who is always gone. Always out working and trying to keep us all safe from the evils of the world that would like nothing more then to make our lives a " living hell ." Those women truly need to be thanked , they need everyone to know and understand that while you are sitting in your homes every day winning that their husband and boyfriends are working an hour over their normal time to get off work. That they remember that some where in this world there is a women rushing around trying to get the kids feed, bathed and in bed on time all while praying and wishing that her husband/boyfriend didn't have to spend 7 months away from her. Away from their family and the lives they have shared.
As I sit here tonight wishing that my boyfriend was here with me watching pointless cable tv and eating what ever I can get my hands on. I find my self being nothing more then Thankful for all of the AMAZING Women in this world who do what most of us are not brave, or strong enough to do. Supporting men who are hardly ever around , who need the support more then we could ever understand because with out the support they could not do there job as well. I don't know what it's like to be with out the man you love for months at a time, I don't what it is like to deal with everything they have to deal with but I know that one day I will. One day I will understand all to well what they go through every day but until that day I will try to learn everything I can about being in their shoes. I will do everything I can to make sure that I thank them every chance I get. That I do a nice deed for them like baby sitting so they can get a night out , buying them lunch , washing their car or anything I can to show them that even on their worst day there are people in the world that care about them. That are there for them and proud of what they do because when it comes down to it supporting the Military wives is just as important as supporting the Military its self!
I know that tonight will not be my last lonely night, it is only the start of them. I can only be strong and look at the sisterhood of Marine Wives, Fiance's and Girl Friends that have came before me for the strength on the night when I feel the weakest. I love my boyfriend and I know that I will one day look back at these nights as a test from God of our relationship and laugh because we made it through it all!
THANK YOU TO ALL THE MARINE GIRL FRIENDS, FIANCE , AND WIVES! FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO, ALL THE SACRIFICE'S , ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE BEEN FORCED TO HAVE TO KEEP THE MEN YOU LOVE STRONG SO THEY CAN DO THEIR JOBS AND KEEP OUR COUNTRY SAFE! YOU ARE ALL TRULY AMAZING!
Semper Fi <3
Ring Less & Still Here!
So here is the question! .... Does having a ring on your finger really change anything? I have noticed that just about all the Marine Wives I have gotten to meet here in Jacksonville all think that they are better then I am because " I am only a girl friend ." I am out ranged by this being said to my face and behind my back! What is wrong with these ladies? We have all had to start at the bottom of the totem pole , we all had to start off as a Marine Girl Friend before we could get lucky enough to raise up to the honor of marring a United States Marine! Saying a vow to spend the rest of your life together is saying a vow with or with out the paper doesn't change the vow that has been made!
I on September 27th 2011 at about 1pm in the afternoon , I decided to change my life from what it was to what it is still becoming today. I decided to date a United States Marine and that I would love, honor , respect, stay faithful, no matter where he is or how long we will be apart! I love him just as much as any one can love the man they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I hurt just as much as a wife would hurt knowing her man will not be able to see or talk to her on a day where she is feeling like she is falling apart. I sit at home missing him every night he is away, I cry my self to sleep and praying that everything will be okay. I have just as much faith in our love and our relationship as a wife would. Our relationship is unbreakable , no one can come between us no matter how hard they might try! I try my hardest to make him proud every day! I only want to make him happy as often as I can and to make sure he knows what he means to me no matter what people might say. The amount of time we have been a couple or the lacking of a ring on my finger does not matter at all! I love him and I will stand by him until the day God takes us both into the gates of heaven! Those wives who think that I and all the other Marine Girl Friends in the world don't understand what it is to truly love a Marine! You all need to remember where you started, that at one point in time you too were in our shoes. You were standing right where we currently stand , you have had to deal with Marine Wives that felt you too wasn't good enough because you were only a Marine Girl Friend!
This stereotype that Marine Wives are better then Marine Girl Friends is beyond crazy, stupid , and childish! Marine Wives should be there helping the Marine Girl Friends in there time of need. Teaching them the ropes and what it means to be a Marine Wife/Girl Friend! I don't yet know what I should be doing, I don't know what it is to even be a Marine Girl Friend most days. I'm scared that I will not be good enough for him or that I will do something that might hurt his career! I wish that Marine Wives were less scary , and thought more about helping us then trying to hurt us and make us feel as if we are not good enough to even call our selves Marine Girl Friends much less to ever be called a Marine Wife! I love my man and I can only pray that I will be that perfect Marine Wife, that I will make him proud every day of my life but its scary, its hard and there isn't any breaks from this life style no matter how much we wish there was! We need to stick together and make our sisterhood stronger not weaker because of stereotypes and distrust. I might be RING LESS but I'M STILL HERE! I'm NOT going anywhere so it's a fact of life if you don't like us Marine Girl Friends then GET OVER IT! bc WE are not going to run away and end the best thing that has ever happened to us just because there are some mean , scary Marine Wives who don't want us around! When they are just scared and unhappy with their own lives and would rather make us feel unwanted then to let us know that we are not alone! That they have been there and done that and I'm sure will be there again one day! This life is hard enough with out us all jumping down each others throats and talking behind peoples backs just because they don't have a ring on there finger!
This sisterhood is so much more then a sister hood! Its family when we allow it to be!
Semper Fi <3
I on September 27th 2011 at about 1pm in the afternoon , I decided to change my life from what it was to what it is still becoming today. I decided to date a United States Marine and that I would love, honor , respect, stay faithful, no matter where he is or how long we will be apart! I love him just as much as any one can love the man they want to spend the rest of their lives with. I hurt just as much as a wife would hurt knowing her man will not be able to see or talk to her on a day where she is feeling like she is falling apart. I sit at home missing him every night he is away, I cry my self to sleep and praying that everything will be okay. I have just as much faith in our love and our relationship as a wife would. Our relationship is unbreakable , no one can come between us no matter how hard they might try! I try my hardest to make him proud every day! I only want to make him happy as often as I can and to make sure he knows what he means to me no matter what people might say. The amount of time we have been a couple or the lacking of a ring on my finger does not matter at all! I love him and I will stand by him until the day God takes us both into the gates of heaven! Those wives who think that I and all the other Marine Girl Friends in the world don't understand what it is to truly love a Marine! You all need to remember where you started, that at one point in time you too were in our shoes. You were standing right where we currently stand , you have had to deal with Marine Wives that felt you too wasn't good enough because you were only a Marine Girl Friend!
This stereotype that Marine Wives are better then Marine Girl Friends is beyond crazy, stupid , and childish! Marine Wives should be there helping the Marine Girl Friends in there time of need. Teaching them the ropes and what it means to be a Marine Wife/Girl Friend! I don't yet know what I should be doing, I don't know what it is to even be a Marine Girl Friend most days. I'm scared that I will not be good enough for him or that I will do something that might hurt his career! I wish that Marine Wives were less scary , and thought more about helping us then trying to hurt us and make us feel as if we are not good enough to even call our selves Marine Girl Friends much less to ever be called a Marine Wife! I love my man and I can only pray that I will be that perfect Marine Wife, that I will make him proud every day of my life but its scary, its hard and there isn't any breaks from this life style no matter how much we wish there was! We need to stick together and make our sisterhood stronger not weaker because of stereotypes and distrust. I might be RING LESS but I'M STILL HERE! I'm NOT going anywhere so it's a fact of life if you don't like us Marine Girl Friends then GET OVER IT! bc WE are not going to run away and end the best thing that has ever happened to us just because there are some mean , scary Marine Wives who don't want us around! When they are just scared and unhappy with their own lives and would rather make us feel unwanted then to let us know that we are not alone! That they have been there and done that and I'm sure will be there again one day! This life is hard enough with out us all jumping down each others throats and talking behind peoples backs just because they don't have a ring on there finger!
This sisterhood is so much more then a sister hood! Its family when we allow it to be!
Semper Fi <3
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Marine Girlfriend's Handbook
Marine Girlfriend Handbook
1. Don't count on anything!
2. Don't listen to ANYONE on the outside. All you will get is negative remarks, which will make things harder for you to deal with.
3. When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the butt, just remind yourself he's probably had a bad day, and being away from you is hard on him too. So just let him rant and don’t take it personal.
4. When you’re down, treat yourself.
5. Learn how to listen if you don’t know how! He will need you, you will be the one he comes to when he needs to complain, but don’t complain back...that is what the USMC Girlfriends/Fiancées/ Wife’s are for! This is a hard time for our men and they NEED us much more than sometimes they think they do!
6. Love your Marine, be truthful, and reassure him, even if he is deployed he'll have someone to come back to!
7. He will try to pull away at some point. Whether directly telling you to move on, not wait for him or just becoming distant. It's a way they try of dealing, stick with him cause he really does want (and need) you there.
8. When he is away for a long time, or even just a couple hours away, write a lot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship.
9. Some of his friends will probably be morons - expect this.
10. You aren’t the only woman in his life (his mom misses and loves him too!) so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.
11. He needs to feel important so don't hold back on the compliments - remind him how proud you are of what he does. (Tell him how attractive you think he is when wearing his desert cami's, dress blues ect.)
12. Chances are they won't call when they say they will (that especially applies for deployed!).
13. Don't buy that nonrefundable airplane ticket too early.
14. When eating with a Marine you either finish your "chow" in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished.
15. Never take one single minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like it’s the last one you'll have for a while, because with the Marine Corps, it just might be!
16. Take lots of pictures, so you can remember what each other looks like!
17. Don't even TRY to compare your Marine to ordinary men. You can no longer complain about broken plans, that phone call you were supposed to get but didn't, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey, at least he's sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" than you, etc., etc., etc...
18. Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal-pals get their first encounter, first date, first kiss from their men over and over again??
19. Gotta be able to keep up with your man. We give our Marines a whole new meaning of PT =)
20. Even if he says he will, he probably won't. Maybe really means probably not OR probably not when he said he would (example: "I might be able to call you tomorrow" but he can't find the time to call until a week later or "I might be able to come home next month for a week"...that might turn into 2 weeks)
21. Being a Marine's girlfriend/fiancée/wife is the toughest job in the corps. You have to deal with stress similar to the wives, without the promise of forever or the benefits and support they get.
22. We find ourselves using military lingo. "I'm gonna go get my room squared away", "It's chow time", or using military time
23. Patience is the biggest key to making the relationship work...you have to wait a lot but in the end, waiting is what made it all worthwhile.
1. Don't count on anything!
2. Don't listen to ANYONE on the outside. All you will get is negative remarks, which will make things harder for you to deal with.
3. When he becomes stubborn and a royal pain in the butt, just remind yourself he's probably had a bad day, and being away from you is hard on him too. So just let him rant and don’t take it personal.
4. When you’re down, treat yourself.
5. Learn how to listen if you don’t know how! He will need you, you will be the one he comes to when he needs to complain, but don’t complain back...that is what the USMC Girlfriends/Fiancées/ Wife’s are for! This is a hard time for our men and they NEED us much more than sometimes they think they do!
6. Love your Marine, be truthful, and reassure him, even if he is deployed he'll have someone to come back to!
7. He will try to pull away at some point. Whether directly telling you to move on, not wait for him or just becoming distant. It's a way they try of dealing, stick with him cause he really does want (and need) you there.
8. When he is away for a long time, or even just a couple hours away, write a lot of letters! Communication is key to a relationship.
9. Some of his friends will probably be morons - expect this.
10. You aren’t the only woman in his life (his mom misses and loves him too!) so make sure she is updated on what is going on with him.
11. He needs to feel important so don't hold back on the compliments - remind him how proud you are of what he does. (Tell him how attractive you think he is when wearing his desert cami's, dress blues ect.)
12. Chances are they won't call when they say they will (that especially applies for deployed!).
13. Don't buy that nonrefundable airplane ticket too early.
14. When eating with a Marine you either finish your "chow" in 15 minutes or less or be stared at until you are finished.
15. Never take one single minute with them for granted. Live each day with them like it’s the last one you'll have for a while, because with the Marine Corps, it just might be!
16. Take lots of pictures, so you can remember what each other looks like!
17. Don't even TRY to compare your Marine to ordinary men. You can no longer complain about broken plans, that phone call you were supposed to get but didn't, missed birthdays and anniversaries, his snoring (hey, at least he's sleeping BESIDE you), spending more time with "the boys" than you, etc., etc., etc...
18. Always look on the bright side of things. How many of your gal-pals get their first encounter, first date, first kiss from their men over and over again??
19. Gotta be able to keep up with your man. We give our Marines a whole new meaning of PT =)
20. Even if he says he will, he probably won't. Maybe really means probably not OR probably not when he said he would (example: "I might be able to call you tomorrow" but he can't find the time to call until a week later or "I might be able to come home next month for a week"...that might turn into 2 weeks)
21. Being a Marine's girlfriend/fiancée/wife is the toughest job in the corps. You have to deal with stress similar to the wives, without the promise of forever or the benefits and support they get.
22. We find ourselves using military lingo. "I'm gonna go get my room squared away", "It's chow time", or using military time
23. Patience is the biggest key to making the relationship work...you have to wait a lot but in the end, waiting is what made it all worthwhile.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
I thought It Was You! ( Found on another website and love it! )
And turned to you with a smile.
Can't believe I misplaced that sound,
Even though it's been a while.
Yesterday I laughed out loud
And turned to tell you why.
Too late, I remembered the truth,
As a tear came to my eye.
Even now I see your face
And feel your arms holding me tight.
Yet your shadow flees at my touch
For I am alone tonight.
Someday I'll turn and you'll be there.
Your smile - your face - will be real
I'll put my arms around you and know-
This is the way love was meant to feel.
You can keep your Navy blue.
I have the world's best fighting man,
to introduce to you.
His uniform is different,
the best you've ever seen.
The Germans call him "Devildog,"
His real name is "Marine."
He was born on Parris Island,
The place where God forgot.
The sand is eighteen inches deep,
The sun is blazing hot.
He gets up every morning,
Before the rising sun.
He'll run a hundred miles and more,
Before the day is done.
He's deadly with a rifle,
A bayonet made of steel.
He took the warrior's calling card,
He's mastered how to kill.
And when he gets to Heaven,
St. Peter he will tell,
"One more Marine reporting sir,
I've served my time in Hell."
So listen, all you young girls,
to what I have to say:
Go find yourself a young Marine,
To love you every day.
He'll hug you and he'll kiss you,
and treat you like a queen.
There is no better fighting man:
The UNITED STATES MARINE!
The USMC Girl Friend's Creed!
In other words, I have gone through the LDL class of San Diego or Parris Island basic training. I have
attempted and completed the Long-Distance Learning sector of Marine Corps boot camp, graduating from
Platoon GF, right along with my Devil Dog in his own platoon. I am proud to have earned the title of
United States Marine Girlfriend. Along with my Leatherneck, I
have suffered, been broke down, and been rebuilt and designed as an entirely new person.
I have unleashed a new patriotism to my country and my Corps.
Yes, I belong to the Corps because I am committed to my Marine, and he is committed to the Corps.
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. The Corps is his life and I am his spirit.
I have learned the hard way, as he has learned also.
Wherever the USMC takes him, I will follow, whether it be in presence or in thought.
I will learn as much as possible about the Corps, because this is my duty. And I am always on Active Duty.
I will always remain true to the Marine Corps Girlfriend's Core Values,
because just as my Marine is always presented under the image of the United States Marine Corps,
so I am an example to all Marine girlfriends everywhere.
I will always remain faithful: to my Marine, my sisterhood of Marine girlfriends, my Corps, and my country.
And when my Marine is called for duty, so I will be also.
I will support him at all times and at all costs, support my MC family, and will always remain loyal to the privilege of being the girlfriend of one of "The Few, The Proud." I am a USMC ambassador; for while my Marine retains peace and order in far away lands, I will keep watch over our home land, and always remain
honorable, courageous, and committed. I am a United States Marine Girlfriend.
Semper Fidelis.
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