WOW! Just really WOW! In the past week I have had my ups and downs and right now I guess might just be counted as a up! I know that this new life style I have join into is not easy by far but I am so happy and proud to be part of it! I love everything about my wonderful boyfriend! He makes me laugh all the time and always keeps me smiling! Tonight I am spending the weekend with him or at least part of the weekend and wow! I don't know how I ever lived with out this man in my life he makes everything better! We have not done anything that most people would see as special he picked me up late, and we went back to his house where we pretty much cuddled up and watched tv together on his sofa. I ended up falling asleep on his chest as we were watching tv and he woke me up hours later when he was ready to go to bed. I just I can't even describe how that makes me feel even to this every moment it makes me want to cry. I have never felt like this ever in my life and I just don't know what to say. That moment falling asleep on his chest and being so close to him was the best moment in my life. I have never had the feeling that I felt so safe ever in my life. This man makes me to happy with out him I don't want to live a second of my life.
There are no words to describe how I feel about him and in such a short period of time, it truly scares me every time I think about it but I wouldn't change a thing even if I could. That night he and I went to bed and when I woke up he and I did the basic things went to get something to eat, hung out and watched football together ( we are both really BIG Steelers Fans! ) and I ended up once again falling asleep on his chest and later on he took me home because he had things to do. It was a short weekend up I just cant explain how it felt to be able to spend time with him after him being gone for like almost two weeks. It was just what I needed to remind me of how he loves me and how amazing our relationship is
. I tend to forget those things after a certain period of time and I know that I should try my hardest to understand that he works a lot and his hours are not always " normal ." I knew that it would not be the same to date a Marine as it is to just date a normal guy with a normal job I guess I just never thought about how truly hard it would be on me. I wish that there was some one who could talk me through this some one who knew what I am going through in this new life. It hurts me to not be able to sleep next to him every night, and to cuddle up with him but I know that there is a reason for every thing and I just need to stay strong. I cant ever allow these bad days get me down about our relationship no matter how much I really want to just cry and act like baby I just can not do that to him. I love him so much and I want to spend every moment I can with him, those moments for right now just are not as close together as I would love for them to be. I know one day if I am really lucky I will be able to wake up to him every morning and fall asleep wrapped up in his arms every night as long as I stay strong and don't give up on us.
I know this life is not just his job, it is his life something that odds are he will pick for the next 11 years. I might not be able to come first in his life, I might not get to wake up to him every morning and fall asleep wrapped up in his arms every night but he makes me so happy. Every moment with him is better then the last and I am so happy and in love that I can only pray that he allows me to keep being part of his life and that I make him as happy as he makes me! Well I'm off to bed Good Night all!
Semper Fi <3
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